Your hands smell like newly-released magazines, and parts of your skin are disinfected just in case you get a scar instead of a tattoo. You added “eating less” on your to-do list like a warning label. I’m sorry but that doesn’t count as love.
Maybe what counts as love is when you stare at the mirror and you see no metaphors. When you only see your sunburned skin, chapped lips with teeth marks, eyes that came out of a thirty-minute shower, feet with paper bruises from running away and losing, a waist line with no hands to hold them perfectly but your own.
Hey look again. Look at your flesh, as many times in the same way you don’t get tired of looking at labels and book titles, at swing sets and mouths sounding laughter, until you see beyond the doorknobs and chicken wires built by your own fingers. Trace all the fault lines of the parts you call mistakes and learn how to say countless apologies to every part with all the letters of the alphabet .
I know its hard to love yourself when your caving in. When your counting down, and counting over and over again. Just remember, your body is not the moon with craters and depths unchanging—a witness to millions of traffic jams and long distant letters but still not wholly touched by anyone’s fingers.
Remember that no matter how alone it may seem to be, it has already found its place in the galaxies. There’s no rush, darling, it took a long while for the universe to look that beautifully chaotic. Its waiting for you too. You don’t want to miss it.
i wish more people said that being single is normal
and you’re not going to meet and marry someone
and that’s fine
and if marriage happens, it happens. and it’s not the next big ticket to check off in life’s checklist
because not everyone meets someone they want to marry. and that’s normal
you’re not broken or unfulfilled if you are single
“This is the chemical formula for love:
dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin.
It can be easily manufactured in a lab, but overdosing on any of them can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.
Let that sink in.”
People always assume love’s a mystery, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive.